Posted in Christian, Devotional, Encouragement, Life, Monastic, Spiritual Discipline

Yearning for God…intentionally

Prayer was a continuous way of life in the desert. It was intentionally cultivated until it became second nature. Prayer involved the hard work of learning a new language – the language of heaven. For the ascetic, prayer was not merely the speaking of words. It was the yearning for God, reaching out in hopeful openness to being touched by God. Prayer was for the Holy Spirit breathing through the inner spirit of the ascetic and returning to God with yearnings of intimacy. (Laura Swan, The Forgotten Desert Mothers; Sayings, Lives, and Stories of Early Christian Women [Paulist Press, 2001], 27)

I do not know where you are at today, nor do I know what your journey this last year had been like. For me, it has been a year of getting to know myself, of sitting in my “cell” and facing myself. And it has also been a year of intentionality, of yearning, of longing for God to breathe afresh and anew in my life – and He did not disappoint.

It has been a year of discovering that I am ridiculously in charge of my own life and that I alone bear the responsibility for its stewardship. It has been a year where I came to grips with the fact that there will always be circumstances that are out of my control and which have the power to shape me, if I chose.  It has been a year where I embraced the truth that I have choices. Moment by moment, day by day, month by month, I can choose how I will spend the gift of time and how I will react to the things going on around me.

The desert fathers and mothers, whose writings I have been reading since last summer, taught me that their intentional choices influenced their personal growth and their relationship with God. Prayer was “intentionally cultivated,” solitude was “intentionally cultivated,” yearning for God was “intentionally cultivated.” How they chose to live was intentional.

I think too often we give away our power and numb our senses which leaves us crippled and confused about who we are, what we are feeling, and what our soul yearns for. In some cases, we have allowed technology to become our master, telling us when to drink water, how many steps to take, what our heart rate it, and we wear our fitness devices as some sort of reminder that we want to be aware. But somehow in that wanting, we have stopped creating spaces for silence and solitude. We have stopped taking the time to be present to God and present to ourselves. And perhaps for some of us, if we are really honest, we have become expert runners who run from ourself and try to run from God.

So today,  if that’s you and you long for something different as I did last summer and still do, join me by reaching out your hands towards God and saying: “God, I yearn for you and you alone. I take back the power of choice to steward my own life, and I commit to intentionally cultivating the behaviours and thoughts that allow me to be present in life.”

A special note of thanks: Dear David, a soon-to-be-new-brother-in-Christ, thank you for courageously picking up your phone today and reaching out to a stranger (you happened to get me) to ask about how one becomes a disciple of Jesus Christ – you confirmed for me that this blog post matters. I hope you’ll call again and am praying for your wholehearted “yes” to Jesus.

Posted in Christian, Encouragement, Mom and Kids, Parenting, Spiritual Discipline

The Minivan is My Training Ground (For The Moms Out There.)

Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray.” (Proverbs 22:6, NRSV)

Moms, where are your spaces for training your kids? Mine’s in the van – the minivan to be exact. My very first minivan was an old, blue Dodge Caravan. I was pretty excited about ALL the space I had in that van.These days I drive an older, blue Toyota van. (There’s been a number of vans these last 20+ years!) As I have been driving kids to and fro these days, I have been reflecting on how many sacred moments we’ve had over the years in the vans.

Sure, there are times I complain about all the driving I do; it’s why I love it when my husband drives us to church on Sunday. But, as much as I have complained at times, the van has been my training ground with my kids.

It’s where we’ve listened to praise and worship music (and other types), where we’ve read excerpts from books, where we’ve used the Daily Bread readings for our morning devotionals, where we’ve read through the gospels, and where I’ve asked my kids the hard questions.

It’s also the place where, upon picking my kids up from school, tears have erupted as a child has told me of a hurt they experienced, witnessed, or of some sad news. And in those moments, we stop and pray together. Other times, there are strange smells that make us all roll down the windows and say to someone, “Did you hold that all day and wait to get into the van to do that!” I think you all know what I’m talking about. 🙂

If my vehicles over the years could tell you a story, I think this is what they would say: The minivan was our training ground. It’s where we loved and learned to love. It’s where we asked questions and searched for answers. It’s where we connected and learned from each other. It’s where we learned about God together.

Where’s your training ground?

Carmen