When God invites you on a journey, you don’t always know where you’re headed, do you?
In June of 2019, I felt the Lord inviting me to lay down some things I dearly loved. If I had known then what I know now, I’m not sure if I’d have been so quick to follow, though I’m sure I would have eventually said yes.
Because here’s the truth, friends. I thought God was taking me on a grand adventure. I thought the next thing was going to be the most important work yet. And it is, it’s just not work I’m doing. Instead, it’s work Christ is doing in me.
It dawned on me just this past week (it’s now October 2019) that what God intends is for me to be in a stage of deeper maturity and to be on an inward journey. It a season of what some call “a wall” or a “dark night of the soul.” I want to tell you that I’m going hooray, but I’d be lying if I said that. I’ve been here before. I’ve had days of tears, hours of confusion, moments of feeling desperately alone and confused, and times of nothingness. And I’ve had hope and encouragement along the way from God’s Word, especially as clarity of this new season is being unveiled.
The Wall, more than anything else, cuts of our attachments to who we think we ought to be, or who we falsely think we are. Layers of our counterfeit self are shed. Something truer, that is Christ in and through us, slowly emerges. – P. Scazzero
And here’s what I know to be real about going through such a season: Christ will shine more brightly in and through our lives if we travel this path, we will emerge from this season more of who Christ has intended for us to be.
My role is to lean in and accept that the invitation I heard back in June is this place I now find myself. Journey through it. Rest in it. Weep when needed. Name the emotions, but don’t let them be the guide; Jesus must remain the focus. (There can be an overwhelming amount of emotions that surface, not all will guide us to the truth.) Own my sinfulness when exposed and deal with ungodly affections. Cease striving or grasping. Allow God to purge and deal with me. Don’t rush. Settle in. Be okay with the unknown. Be okay with the process. Call my spiritual director; I may need to up my sessions with her!
Friends, Jesus is more concerned about who we are becoming than any title, position or work you may do. If we want to be Christ-like, then we must allow Christ to do in us what only he can do in us. And there are seasons where you WILL go on a journey to a destination – a wall or a dark night – and you won’t know ahead of time that that’s where you’re headed. But know this: The same Jesus who brought you there will journey it through with you, and you’ll be a different person when you come out of it.
A fellow traveler,
Carmen, through teaching, speaking, pastoring, blogging, and podcasting, invests in others so they can lead and live better. She is the founder of LEAD Women Ministries, ordained with the PAOC, an Associate Pastor at Westside Pentecostal Church, holds an MA in Leadership & Management, and she can often be found collaborating with other leaders or organizations on projects where there are outcomes to grow people’s confidence, competence, and character.