Just yesterday I was talking with a precious sister in Christ about my journey with and through anxiety. And it was during our discussion that this confession came out, “It’s okay that I’m weak.”
I don’t know about you, but I feel pretty vulnerable when I step forward and confess something that I’ve been struggling with, but there’s no time like the present, because I do believe our stories help each other to say, even if it’s just in a whisper over a cup of tea, “Me, too.” So today, in the quiet of my living room, here’s the truth, “I’m weak and I’ve been learning about and struggling with anxiety.” And here’s something else I can confess, “My God is strong in my weakness.”
Just five months ago, since first coming to understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling, so much has changed. The biggest things: I’m kinder to myself, to others, and I rely on God’s grace in countless ways.
Some other things I’ve learned, in no particular order, are:
- I like quiet times and peaceful environments.
- I like finding solutions to chaotic situations. (I like a good challenge, I just don’t like living in High-Challenge all the time.)
- The schedule had to change – and it did! It’s wonderful!
- I’m not alone – there are others that have gone through this.
- It’s okay that I’m weak.
- Journaling and managing my time/energy is critical to my well-being.
- There are some people who you are better off not having in your life.
- I have an amazing family and some pretty fantabulous friends!
- I love my job, and my colleagues are incredible people.
- I like living simpler, it allows me to be present in the things that matter. (Thanks Ashley!)
Another big thing that I’ve learned, God’s grace is for me too.
I’m not done this journey, but I’m not alone in it either. So wherever you are at today, may you know the Peace of God that passes all understanding, and may you experience God’s grace in tangible ways.
(I have intentionally not included any links to describe anxiety. If you are not feeling right, please make a trip to your trusted physician your next step.)
The Reverend Carmen Kampman is a woman on the road of leadership. Ordained with the PAOC, she is a steward of God’s call to women in ministry. She is on staff at Horizon College & Seminary, an Associate Pastor at Westside Pentecostal, and holds an MA in Leadership & Management from Briercrest College & Seminary.